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# Jokes and Riddles

## Tickle your brain! Laugh and have some fun! If you know a great, non-offensive joke or riddle, this is the place for it!

### Why did the scarecrow win an award?

he was outstanding

### How many grams are in a kilogram?

There are 1,000 grams (g) in a kilogram (kg) and 0.001 kilogram equal a gram. The prefix "kilo" (symbol k) in the International System of Units (SI), means one thousand. 1,000 grams in a kilo. 1000 100 1 kg = 1000 g 1 kg = 1000 grams 1 gram = 0.001 kg

### How does a dog stop a CD player?

it pushes the "paws" button

### Would you rather be able to detect any lie you hear or get away with any lie you told?

I think it would be more fun and personally rewarding (albeit probably immoral) to get away with any lie you told. Identifying any lie you hear will most likely only teach you things you wish you didn't know.

### Sally's birthday is on July 9 Billy's birthday is two weeks later Billy's party is three days after his birthday When is Billy's party?

It would be July 26 because if you add 2 weeks to the 9th (+14 days) then you would get July 23 but it said his party is 3 bays after his birthday so it would be July 23 (+3 days) which would equal the 26 of July.

### What do road crews use at the North Pole?

Road crews up at the North Pole have it tough. They have to use snow cones.

### What occurs once in every minute twice in every moment yet never in a thousand years?

The letter "M" occurs once in every minute, twice in every moment, but never in a thousand years.

### Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side with is by crossing the road by getting to the other side

### When should you take a cookie to the doctor?

You should take your cookie to a doctor when it feels crummy. You should take your cookie to the doctor when you have enough dough.

### What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit?

What's hoppin'? Hahaha...

### Why are the three billy goats called gruff?

When they have a threesome, things get a little g"ruff" lol

### What is taken from you before it is given to you?

money

### When does 9 plus 4 equal 1?

9 a.m + 4 hours = 1 p.m. More generally, when you are doing modulus arithmetic, specifically mod 12. ie. (9+4) mod 12 = 1 not as tough as 9 pm + 4 hours = 1 am

### What is represented in the brain bat AR UP MS?

Up in arms

### What gets wetter as it dries?

A towel gets wetter as it dries you. YOU dry off while the TOWEL gets wet. a towel!! A Towel

### What do you call your husband's wife's mother?

Unless you are in a polygamous marriage, you are your husband's wife, so you would call her your mother.

### What do you call a pony that doesnt whinny?

A little hoarse/horse.

### An angry elderly woman had twelve toothpicks in front of her She threw one away Now she had nine in front of her How is this possible?

The 12 toothpicks were arranged into the letters N-I-N-E-I, with toothpicks forming an N (3), I (1), N (3), E, (4) and I (1). She throws away the one that makes the last I, so she is left with N-I-N-E. (the letters now spelled out by the remaining eleven 11 toothpicks)